Your Sexual "Dysfunction" is Beyond Functional... It is Wise

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Are you living a turned on life of pleasure? Most women aren't. The American Medical Association reports that some 42% of American women suffer from sexual dysfunction. This blows my mind. The word dysfunction is so inaccurate, and the way we are approaching this issue as a culture is mis-guided to say the least.

So if you are here reading this, I need you to know something:

Your body was made brilliantly, and your “dysfunction” carries potent messages of wisdom.

It is my mission to change this stat. Not through creating a new pill or tool, but through helping women re-connect and remember who they ARE and what they WANT.

Most women do not know what is truly possible for them sexually, and if they do, they don't know how to get there. Sexual energy is a potent tool of creation. We are massively under functioning in this area. This puts us at a massive disadvantage, and not just in the bedroom.

I have been there. So frustrated with my own lack of desire that I convinced myself something must be wrong with me. I tried to explain it a gazillion ways. Maybe I was asexual? Maybe I was just into women? Maybe my vagina was dysfunctional? Too weak? Too loose? Was sex just not for me?

I spent years and years, and a ton of trial and error figuring this shit out. I went from being a desireless, sexually dysfunctional housewife to unapologetic, orgasmic woman living life on my own terms.  

My sexual awakening woke up everything. I had the courage to leave my financially dependant marriage. I launched 2 successful businesses. To say I was energized would be an understatement. I was on fire. I no longer bowed to others' expectations of me, sexually or otherwise. I developed a relationship with my intuition. I felt connected to myself. And you can, too. 

Book a free discovery call here to see what is possible.

What Is Love?

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Let’s not reduce love to a feeling; feelings are too unstable to balance the weight of love. darling, love is heavy. It is the commitment to meet another’s needs without expectation.
— Furaha Joyce

 

Love is a choice. Have you heard this before? It used to irk me. Didn’t sound appealing at ALL. Sounded like suffering. I thought it meant you had to override your feelings. I tried that for a while. It felt awful. What I didn’t understand is that feelings are unstable. Even volatile, if you are scared of them or are making them wrong. I put so much weight on my feelings. I would react to my feelings and I let them completely toss me around. I would keep them hidden because I was scared they were true. The whole thing was exhausting.

 

I didn’t realize that is totally fine to have terrible feelings about myself, my partner, and our relationship. It is important not to take your feelings too seriously. In fact, it is good to laugh at them. They are going to come and go and quite often are not based in the present reality. Instead, focus on your THOUGHTS. These things we have control over. And your thoughts inform your feelings. Stop and choose a positive thought. Any thought that you can believe that is better than the one that is currently occupying your mind will do. Repeat that, reaching for better and better thoughts every time. Before you know it, you will be feeling WAY better.  

Below is an example of one of my clients' frequent problems, but the same principle can be applied to any negative feelings.

For example, you aren’t feeling sexually attracted to your partner, and you feel gutted because you think this might mean you aren’t meant to be together. You believe this thought, and so you keep thinking it, turning it over in your mind. You hold off sharing these feelings with your partner because you are scared about your relationship ending. You spend most of your free time in this thought loop, solidifying the “problem” by the minute. By the time you finally spit out your feelings, you have already established them into a conclusive belief that requires action. Oh, the unnecessary (not to mention, PAINFUL) drama we play out with our partners.

 

Let me show you how this example can play out differently.  

 

You aren’t feeling sexually attracted to your partner, and you feel gutted because you think this might mean you aren’t meant to be together. 

You journal the feeling out. 

Is this true?

Maybe it feels true. Okay. 

You reach for a better feeling thought that is still 100% believable.

I am not attracted to my partner right now, but this might not be permanent.

Ok, great. Again, what feels even better than this?

I have been not attracted before, and then felt attracted again. This is probably a temporary feeling.

Amazing. Again, what feels even better than that last one?

My attraction changes, nothing is wrong, I can stay relaxed, and wait for attraction to reappear.

Yes, yes, yes. Okay, once more. What feels even better Than this?

I am so grateful to a have a loving partner. I am grateful for all the amazing connections and moments we have had together. I am excited to see what this looks like next. I am not supposed to be sexually attracted 100% of the time. Everything is happening perfectly. I appreciate what is here for me right now. 

Bravo, you have successfully turned your thoughts around. You can now stay calm, and watch what is going on objectively.

This is just ONE example of turning your thoughts around (and subsequently, redirecting your feelings). If you are stuck in a deep belief that is freaking you out, and you are not sure if it is true, please reach out for a free discovery call. Helping people find clarity in their relationships is one of my greatest joys. 

Remember, a belief is a thought you keep thinking. Watch those thoughts, and re-direct!

Lots of love,

Katrina Marie

 

 

The Power of “No” : Lessons From a Sex Club

Yeah… I know. I probably blew your mind with the second half of that title. It kind of blows my own mind that I went to a sex club, too. Anyways, it was a pretty crazy experience that brought up a LOT for me, especially around the power of personal autonomy. 

 

If you don’t know who I am and what I do already, I am a sex coach for women with a focus on self love. Much of the work I do is done in the nude. I would say I am extremely comfortable being naked around women. I run Bodysex workshops where we masturbate in a group setting. What I am trying to say here is I am not exactly a prude. I am about as sex positive as you can get. So when I heard about Oasis Aqualounge in Toronto, I thought PERFECT, this could be really fun.