I recently had a booth at a wellness expo, and I was the only practitioner covering issues of sexuality. I loved every single conversation I got to have with people about their sex lives.
And it got me thinking that yes, intuition is so powerful, but we need some basic knowledge.
Did you learn about where your clitoris was in school? I sure didn't. Did you know that the clitoris as most people know it is the literal tip of the iceberg, and that women have almost as much erectile tissue as men? YUP, YUP, YUP.
We have been suppressed for so long, we aren't even aware of our sexual organs and when we are erect. Crazy! And unfortunately, very common...
So let this little blog post be the beginning of the sex education you never had.
Here is my teacher, artist, and mother of masturbation, Betty, explaining female anatomy as she draws it.
Can you imagine the difficulty of having an enjoyable time when your sexual curiosity was repressed/made wrong as a young person combined with no real education of the anatomy of the part of your body that makes you feel good? Yeah, that is what most adults are dealing with. No wonder we aren't having amazing sex. Pussy power starts with knowing what your pussy is made of, what it looks like, and what it can do.
After we get the anatomy, we have to understand that our unique-ness, our individuality is beautiful. Because we aren't educated appropriately (read: not told about our main pleasure organ), and nudity is so taboo, we are left with the only mainstream, easily accessible nudity out there: porn. Cookie cutter pussies. Did you know that labioplasty surgeries increased by 45% last year in the states? What. The. Fuck. And I see it all the time. People ashamed of their vulva. Self conscious. Not sure if they are "normal." Even apologizing for themselves. Ai, ai, ai. We need to feel proud of our genitals instead of ashamed. You can't feel ashamed and relaxed into pleasure at the same time. Well, you can try, but it gets messy.
This is a simple, yet powerful exercise I do with all of my clients: genital show and tell. I invite you to do it yourself. Grab a mirror, some good lighting, and some almond oil. Give your vulva some hand over hand massage with almond oil. And then take yourself on a little tour. Notice all the different structures, yes, and then go on to notice colour, shape, and lines of them just as if you were viewing a piece of art. Spend some time getting to know yourself. See if you can notice when your internal clitoris is becoming erect. Begin to identify new layers to being turned on. It's not just the head of the clitoris, there is a whole new world (sung in a little mermaid voice) to be explored.
Do you have questions about your body, about sex, about pleasure? I know you do. And hundreds of people probably have the same one! Please send them to me and I will answer them here on the blog. No question too small, no question too out there!